Being Parent: Equal share of Thrill and Joy just like a ride to rollercoaster, PART II

As in the first part of the blog "being parent......." we have discussed like setting up rules for parents for a guided upbringing of your child. In the second part we focus more on the behavioral aspects of the parents. In this context, let us not forget the first and most important factor, the TIME. Children spell YOUR T.I.M.E as L.O.V.E. So please be with your child and spend quality time. At least three times a day they deserve your quality and effective TIME. First, the time when they wake up in the morning. Just wish them with a broad and bright smile, it will make their whole day. Second is the time when they are back from school. It is understandable, that for working parents this is bit difficult, however, a phone call definitely can be made when they are back home. Small chits with your love notes on the dinning table during lunch will make the child immensely happy. It gives her a feel that though you are not physically present, you are still with her only. Both the parents can take their turns in the event. That will be a surprise your baby as to who has written for her: Mamma or Papa? She will look forward to your messages every afternoon and give her a sense of affection that you show through this act.  Lastly, it is a must that you be with your child during their bedtime.  These are the small things not very tough to practice in your day to day life that will bring happiness to your child. Also, never miss to:

BE THERE ON THEIR SPECIAL DAY: Nowadays we have to do many things at a time, we do multi-tasking but we should do everything we can do to be there for the important moments/events in our child's life. Your boss may or may not remember the day you missed an important meeting, but your child will most certainly remember that you didn't attend his/her first performance on stage. When you will be growing old, your child will not take any initiative to be there on your special day as you are setting the example of being so .

BE A UNITED PARENTS: Your child should think of you as a united front. If your kids think that their mother will always say ' YES ' and their father will say 'NO', they will start manipulating. You shouldn't argue with each other in front of your child, when they are sleeping argue quietly. Children may feel insecure and fearful when they hear their parents shouting at each other and they will learn to argue in the same way. This doesn't mean that you both have to agree hundred percent about everything but show your children that when people disagree, they can discuss their differences peacefully and can solve the problem.

AVOID PUBLIC HUMILIATION: If they misbehave in public, take them aside and scold them privately. Avoid statements such as 'YOU ARE BAD ' publicly. Be assertive yet kind when  pointing out what they have done wrong,  be stern and serious, but not mean. If you humiliate them publicly, they will loose their confidence and sometimes they will become stubborn, start throwing tantrums and will start to insult you publicly when they grow up .

 

RESPECT YOUR CHILD'S PRIVACY: If you want to teach your child that there are something that are personal or private and everybody has their own space and no one should interfere without permission then you have to give them their space. If you can give your children the confidence that no one will read their diaries or  touch their favourite toys, then this will help them to honour their own space and to respect the privacy of others. If your children catches you snooping through their things , then it may take a long time for them to trust you.

BE A GOOD ROLE MODEL: You should model the behaviour and character you hope your children will adopt and continue to live with. You don't have to be a perfect person but show them that it's perfectly okay to make mistakes but you should apologize for that and not repeat the same. If you want to teach your children to keep the things in proper place, such as their toys and books, you should do the same. If you want to teach them sharing, share your favourite things with the other members of family. So in a nutshell what you preach, you should practice. Also you should be consistent with your instructions, your expectation and your action.

At the end of the day, the most important thing is to create a nurturing environment where your children feel like they can thrive and develop into confident, independent and caring adults.  

My Ms. Mamata Mitra

Principal, Shemrock Parrot Preschool, Santoshpur

Guest writer