Being Parent: Equal share of Thrill and Joy just like a ride to rollercoaster

"Children have never been very good at listening to their elders , but they have never failed to imitate them ." - James Baldwin

To be a parent is something precious that god has blessed us with; so when we are bringing up our future nation, we should promise ourselves that the precious gift of god will be a good human being in future . To be a good parent you need to know how to make your children feel valued and loved while teaching them the difference between right and wrong .

Good parenting helps foster empathy, honesty, self-reliance, self control, kindness, cooperation and cheerfulness says Steinberg. It also promotes intellectual curiosity, motivation and desire to achieve. It helps to protect children from developing anxiety, depression, eating disorders, anti-social behaviour and drug abuse .

So , we should remember , -

ACTION MATTERS: Our kids are continuously watching us, so what we do to make a difference ? So, parents don't just react on the spur of the moment, ask yourself what will be it's result ? Is that you want to accomplish ? We should always be careful about our behavior towards everyone around us including our maids as our children are the best imitators .

TOO MUCH OF ANYTHING IS DANGEROUS: Too much of love or too much of strictness can ruin your child's future. Here too much of love doesn't mean the affection, it means the material possessions what we give our children in place of love. As a result they fail to understand the feelings called LOVE and the value of money also, but instead of giving them any material objects a gentle cuddle, a little encouragement, appreciation or even a smile can go long way. Sometimes for no mistake a child gets a punishment. For example, while drinking milk if a child spills some milk on his/her dress, then as a punishment he is denied of his/her favourite toy for a whole day. In both the cases children will become stubborn or will pick up some bad habits or will disobey their parents if this process continued .

RULES ARE FOR EVERYONE: If you want to set some rules for your child at home, make sure that the rules should be followed by everyone at your home and you should enforce reasonable rules . For example, if you want that your children shouldn't watch television while having their meals, make sure no one in the house does so. If any guest comes to your place don' t allow him/her to do so. Otherwise the children feel rules are for them only and can be broken by adults. So, when they grow up, can break the rules and can do anything. this way children sometimes stop believing their parents and a sense of disrespect grow inside . 

AVOID COMPARING YOUR CHILDREN WITH OTHERS: Every child is unique, celebrate their differences. If you constantly compare your child with others or with his/her siblings, they may get an idea that they can never be good enough in your eyes and it will develop a rivalry too. If your children are quarreling don't choose sides , but be fair and neutral and avoid favouritism. If you want to help them improve their behaviour, talk about meeting their goals on their own terms, instead of telling them act like their sister or neighbour.

LISTEN TO YOUR CHILDREN: Communication is very important for both ways. You should create an atmosphere in which your children can come to you with any problem. If your child says that he /she has to tell you something, take it seriously. You can even make a fixed time everyday to sit with him /her and talk with him/her . You can share some of your problem with your child which is not a big one. This will give your child a sense that you are depending on him/her and rely on him / her too. It will make your child independent and confident moreover a problem solving skill will also grow which will help him /her in future. 

By the Guest writer 

Ms. Mamata Mitra

Principal, Shemrock Parrot Preschool, Santoshpur